When I Write

When I write
    I feel more
        Like myself
Than when I talk.

When I write
    I feel released and
        Relaxed.

When I talk
    I feel constricted,
        Restricted,
            Conflicted.

When I write,
    I feel Myself breathing easily.

When I talk,
    I can’t take a deep breath.

Is it any wonder
    I enjoy writing
        More than talking?

It’s only natural.
    I enjoy being released,
        Relaxed
            And breathing easily
More than being confined,
    Restricted,
        Conflicted
            And unable to take a deep breath.

 . . .
 
Talking demands
    I be someone else,
        Someone I’m perceived to be,
Someone I’m needed to be,
    Someone I’d rather not be,
        Someone I’m required to be
In order to put others at ease,
    In order to make the least waves,
         In order to flow in their stream,
In order to be permitted in their space.

I’m required to wear a certain face
    As I talk…

So—I would rather write…isn’t it obvious why?

Even as you read this you say,
    “You don’t really feel this way, do    
        you?”

Isn’t it obvious I do?
    Isn’t it obvious
        You’d rather not believe me?
Isn’t it obvious your reaction
    Is part of why
        I’d rather write than talk?

But I just did talk in my loudest voice…
    Pen and Ink!

-- Written by Carol E. Crain at 4:00 a.m., February 01, 2001