After living since 1989 in Southern Pines, NC, Carol and I (her husband) moved on Jan. 10, 2018, to Taylors, SC.
But before that, during Dec. 2012, a blood clot moved (probably) from Carol’s leg and burst in her lungs, causing pulmonary hypertension. “Most people don’t make it to the hospital in your condition,” said Dr. Michael Pritchett, a pulmonologist affiliated with FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst, NC. Since then, Carol battled pulmonary hypertension (high blood pressure in the lungs). I hired on at Gulistan Carpet in 1989 but it went bankrupt, and I ended my work there on Jan. 10, 2013, right after that clot damaged Carol.
Skip forward to Tues., Oct. 17, 2017: Carol entered FirstHealth Hospital, Pinehurst, NC, with congestive heart failure. We had stayed in Southern Pines because of Carol’s doctors, but she felt, during this hospital stay, that the Lord impressed her to tell me, “Let’s move back to Greenville, SC.” (Our older daughter Janelle Smith and husband, Terry, live in Taylors, SC, part of Greenville County.) I said, “We’re almost too old to move.”
On Oct. 21, Sat., Carol came home from the Reid Heart Center (of FirstHealth). Realtor Chuck Hust guided us in closing in Greenville, SC, on our Taylors house on Dec. 15, 2017. Carol reentered the Pinehurst hospital with breathing problems on Thurs., Dec. 21, and came home on Tues., Dec. 26. Mayflower moved us to Taylors on Jan. 10, 2018. Sherry and Steve Sturm of Greenville helped us. Jerry and Jan Brown of GA helped unpack. We sold our NC house on March 27, 2018.
Carol was hospitalized (Greer Memorial Hospital) on May 3, 2018, with elevated calcium and on May 7 went to National Health Care rehab. She returned home on May 25. We celebrated 48 years of marriage on Aug. 20, 2018. She spent Sept. 11-13 in Greer Hospital. She spent Oct. 28-31 in the hospital. She stayed in Greer Hospital for fluid drainage, Nov. 3-14, before transferring to North Greenville Hospital, LTACH (long tern acute care hospital), where she stayed (Nov. 14-Dec. 13). Carol was home during Christmas and New Year’s Day (Tuesday) 2019.
10:30 p.m., Wed., Jan. 02, 2019: Carol said, “I need to go to the hospital.” An ambulance took her to Greer Hospital. One blood pressure reading showed 71/27.
Thurs., Jan. 03: Dr. Armin Meyer, Carol’s pulmonologist in SC, told Carol he’d done all he could do. He recommended hospice care. Carol was “being kept alive” by medicines that raised her blood pressure while fluid was being taken from her body by diuretics. (For years, Carol had classic lymphedema in her legs.)
Sun., Jan. 06: Charles Fleming (a first cousin of mine) and his wife Sandra and Joy, their daughter, visited the hospital room. Two of their sons, Pastor Travis and Mark, visited, too, along with Travis’ wife, Jenna. Travis, visiting from Gallatin, TN, prayed for Carol.
Mon., Jan. 07: Dr. Meyer took Carol off all sustaining medicines, and she was transported to Hospice House of the Carolina Foothills, Landrum, SC. I drove separately; we arrived before 5:00 pm. I conferred with the admitting nurse. “We give only comfort medications here,” she said. (During her hospice house stay, Carol received “squirts of morphine derivative” as needed for discomfort.) I returned to Carol’s room. “Don’t leave me here in this place by myself,” Carol said. “I won’t,” I said. I slept nights on a couch near her. At one point Carol said, “I tried so hard.” I said, “Yes, you did, but your heart is wearing out.”
Tues., Jan. 08: Our daughter, Janelle Smith, and her husband, Terry, visited. Carol’s BP was 106/70.
Wed., Jan. 09: Carol took Phenergan for gas pains at 4:00 am. Janelle and Terry returned in the afternoon. Carol took off her engagement and wedding rings and handed them to Janelle. Tears flowed, but Carol shed no tears. I think the “distancing” I’d read about was taking place inside Carol, and she was weak and very tired. Carol had told me she planned to give those rings to Janelle. That night, I sat beside Carol and cried and told her how much I was going to miss her. She didn’t cry but seemed peaceful as she held my hand. I prayed for Carol and, for a while, watched her sleep.
Thurs., Jan. 10 (our 1-year anniversary of moving to Taylors): Visitors came: Donna Tidwell, Jan and Jerry Brown (from Georgia), Sherry Sturm, Connie and Don Rogers (from Pinehurst NC), Pastor Bill Montgomery (age 88), and Janelle. Carol had lapsed into sleep by nightfall. I called Janet Rice, Carol’s longtime friend. Janet talked to Carol by cellphone. Carol didn’t respond, but I think she heard Janet.
Friday, Jan. 11: Carol seemed unconscious. Sherry Sturm visited. Pastor Jerry and Jan Brown returned and at 12:10 p.m., we three sat around Carol’s bed. Jan suggested singing hymns. We sang three songs, and Jerry said, “I don’t think she’s breathing. I went for the nurse. She put her stethoscope on Carol, and after a long silence, the young nurse said, “There’s no heartbeat.” Carol had slipped out peacefully around 12:20 p.m. Janelle and Terry arrived just after Carol passed on. The nurse asked us to sit in a family room. Bob Griffith, a rep from Wood Mortuary, Greer, SC., arrived soon to transport Carol’s body.
We held Carol’s funeral service at noon, Wed., Jan. 16, 2019, at Wood Mortuary chapel, Greer, SC, my hometown. Pastor Jerry Brown led the service. Pastor Steve Sturm spoke. Four of Carol’s longtime friends spoke: Janet Rice, Sherry Sturm, Jan Brown, and Donna Tidwell. Pam and Bobby Mason and Robert Duckett provided music. I spoke briefly. Jerry concluded the service at Hillcrest Memorial Gardens.
Carol sometimes sang a song she wrote that is based on St. Paul’s statement, “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” Often, in my mind, I hear Carol’s voice singing that song. Waves of grief frequently hit me. In a grocery store, I saw a kind of coconut cake Carol liked. Tears came. We grew even closer as Carol greatly depended on me during the last year of her life. I forever will love Carol.
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