Parental Advice

Here is advice to parents of grown children, especially to parents of children in their teens or twenties:                                                                                                                          
Be concerned—but not too anxious.
Be available—but not too ready.
Be interested—but don’t be nosey.
Be cheerful—but not detached.
Be transparent—but not too revealing.
Be agreeable—but not vocal when you disagree.
Be accepting—but don’t be a phony.  
Be sympathetic—but not suffocating.
Be a friend—but not too chummy.
Be engulfed in your own life—not too engaged in theirs.
Be warm—but don’t be parental.
Be real—but don’t insist on reality.
What to be, what not to be? Now, that is the question. 

(Written in December 1999)